YSTILO SUGBUWANON on its 2nd part @ CLUB VIBE

we blasted it off at VUDU
now we’re taking it to another level.

GARB
presents

YSTILO SUGBUWANON

featuring the designs of:
LORIMER VILLAREAL
CHRIS TATLONGHARI

in cooperation with
CIRCA MODELS
MIKKI ROQUE-ARAGON
SMITTEN ACCESSORIES
PANARTS ACCESSORIES

art performance by
RUSS LIGTAS OF XO? Performance Art Group

mixes by:
DJ SUBLIME

Come in your best masquerade-inspired attire,
and win a prize!

This is in part by:

ONLYVIC Productions

With independence, comes a greater bondage.

Is there really independence in each corner of the earth? We claim to be free yet we are grounded by rules — rules that people had set according to the standards of the society.

But what is it that we are free from?

Americans celebrate their independence every 4th of July. People from Brunei, Haiti and Sudan celebrate independence on New Year’s day. The Hindu had their independence from the United Kingdom back in August 15,1947. Us, Filipinos believe that we had ours back on June 12,1898 from Spain while the Americans acknowledged our freedom on July 4,1946 which for years was observed until Diosdado Macapagal officially made June 12 as the Philippine Independence Day.

With Americans not honoring the June 12 proclamation back in 1946 and Macapagal changing it back to the date when Emilio Aguinaldo proudly declared our freedom, when were we really free?

What if then the Japanese had another date for Philippine independence, would it be confusing in choosing when our Independence day is? Can’t we have three independence days since we were colonized by different nations?

How about now?

Do we still embrace the things our so called heroes fought for?

Is it not just hypocrisy for us to celebrate independence day while those dreaming of running our country are fighting for what they claim is best for the Filipinos?

I see a lot of people planning things on what to do on this “special” day that they are making it as an entertainment. I have nothing against those people organizing events on Independence Day. However, it is ironic that they use nationalistic concepts for such events when I wonder if they really know or even care for what is going on in the government.

Event posters have those yellow, blue and red colors on it to present it as Filipino as it should be on the day of our so called independence.

Pre-independence or events on independence day itself, would they tackle national issues during the event? I dare not. It would just spoil the fun and party going on.

But why party when the country is facing if not a lot but some issues? I guess that is their freedom to do anything on this day. And my freedom to speak up my mind.

I admit, I wanna join in the party for whatever events there are on this day, but definitely I would not be bringing a flag, wear something red, blue, yellow and white or greet people Happy Independence Day!

But what can I do? I have duties to work on in the job that I have fully gave up my party life for.

Freedom is just more complicated than falling in love. At least you are not getting in jailed for loving a person who doesn’t even care you exist rather than getting all the boos and blahs for even trying to have a Charter Change.

Oh yeah, so how is it going for Con-ass today? And how about Hayden Kho’s freedom to take recorded shots of his sexcapade? And the freedom of the press in Thailand for publishing the dead body photos of David Carradine?

It is funny that the other day, a text message had been forwarded and the “news” spread so fast that a Korean boy died of swine flu and was last spotted in Ayala cinema on June 3 yet they didn’t even bother to check their sources if this was really true or just another message of those chain messages that says forward this or something bad will happen to your mother. What the eff!

It is funny how people can post a lot of those notes in facebook where the user will answer silly questions and tag their friends along and have them comment on it.

See what freedom can do?

It is funny that I’ m writing this blog today and I wonder if I am making sense.

Oh well, it’s Independence day, that gives us the freedom to celebrate it inany way that we want.

I am no perfect Filipino who practices the virtues of freedom. And for that I commend those people for living up to the essence of freedom and being a Filipino.

But what is it then that we are free from?

GARB has now returned

Logo made by: Yves Camingue

GARB has now return to the scene of music, fashion, lifestyle, arts making it in one name.

GARB, a group of individuals bringing the best of their fields over to the metro.

MUSIC: Victoria Lago (OnLyViC Productions)
FASHION AND STYLE: Yves Camingue (Yves, Identify)
LIFESTYLE AND SCENE: Eden Villarba (WRock, Chic In The Tropics)
STYLE BLOGGER: Kristine Roa (Stylecebu.com)
DIRECTOR: Chiqz Espinoza


GARB has now returned!


A collaboration of friends with different things to offer and new ideas to show...

Your guide to fashion, style, music and arts...

Your partner in online media...

and your way to the scene. :)

Life has to go on for me and my family.

"Kalma ra lageh kaayo ka?"

This is the most insensitive thing to say to me right now! If you are not my friend then don't try to be one.

I have lost my daddy but it doesn't mean I have to cry in front of you. I have my own ways of mourning. I cry but do I have to show it to people?

No.

I am the type of person who always wear a smile when I have to. I talk like nothing happened because I know it wouldn't be of any help if I would just stay in one corner and lose my sanity. I act like things are normal for me. I am still the same though I am grieving.

Life has to go on for me and my family. But I know it won't be that easy.

Kuya said earlier this mornig, " We have to start a new life with what Daddy has left for us."

Losing Dad this time when things are working out good makes me feel "sayangan" because he wouldn't be with us anymore.

I still can't believe that this time it is our family being condoled by people. I know that someday, death will come. But I wasn't expecting to lose Dad. Seeing him made me think that death was far from him -- far from reality.

I am going home to Leyte and I don't know how I should feel about it. I am afraid of seeing him. Coz I will know that he is really gone.

It is hard to accept things that I just wish everything is just a dream and tomorrow when I go back to Leyte, it will be just another family reunion. So, I wish. But I know it isn't a dream.

To my friends here, thank you so much for cheering me up. Being alone at home makes things hard for me. But your company makes it lighter to bear.

Darryl, Chaz, Au, Yves, Joel
--- thanks so much for being there for me when I first learned about the news.Having such friends is just one of the best things to have when I am down.

Lordy
--- for the company yesterday.

Bao of Pointblank
--- you are so sweet and I love you for being a friend to me. You made me smile when I cried.

To the guy I was with last night, thanks for the company. I had a great time.

To the people who offered their condolences, thanks a lot.

I have to thank a lot more people that it will be too long to enumerate. But you know how much I appreciate you,guys.

The best cook in my life -- my Dad.

I was browsing on my photo albums here in multiply then I saw my cover on Bite Mag and I remembered my Dad.

My family and I celebrated Christmas here in Cebu. That was the last time I was with Dad before he passed away yesterday.

Everyday was a holiday for our family. We ate anywhere we wanted to. Dad treated us out everyday. He gave me everything I wanted.

It was my Dad who always gave me praises and compliments despite my Mom and Kuya's indifference of what I have been doing when it comes to bands,gigs and all.

One time, they were at Greenwhich. So after school, I went straight to SM because I wanted to eat some of their lasagna. Dad let me order anything I wanted. He gave me the biggest part of the chicken and he gave me the Pancit Malabon Mom had bought.

I got a copy of the Bite mag where I was on the cover and showed it to him, "Dad, tingnan mo ang cover. Nice noh?" I said then I laughed.

"Ako bitaw yan,Dad. Pag November man yan. The owner is a good friend of mine then tinawagan nya ako bigla pag October if pwede ako. Ganda,noh. Parang hindi ako."

Then I saw Dad's face smiling, "Marami ka pang copy dyan,Yang? Dalhin ko sa Leyte pag-uwi ko. Pakita ko dun sa atin."

"Marami pa,Dad. Binigyan kasi nila ako ng mga copies ko for that issue. Bigay ko sa yo."

Then Kuya came back from washing his hands and sat beside Dad. "O,Dward. Baka mabasa ang magazine ni Yang-Yang. Copy ko bya yan. Bigay nya sa akin."

I was so happy the whole time Daddy and I talked about the magazine. Mom and Kuya weren't interested about my kind of activities. At least, Dad was always there and showed me how I made him proud. He never failed to show his pride for me. Then he would say, "Basta ang studies mo, Yang ha. Baka napapabayaan mo na dahil sa mga lingaw-lingaw mo."

Though I have no longer been a very diligent student like I was before, I told Daddy, "Wala lagi Dad. Hindi naman rin conflict sa school,eh. At saka, in line pa rin naman sa Masscom,ah."

Last night, I was alone at home. Mom and Kuya were already in Leyte to fix things for Daddy.

I had to cook dinner for myself. I had spaghetti and toasted bread then ice cream for dessert. But before I ate, I cried again.

I will no longer have Dad to cook me my favorite vegetable dish, nilagang pork, kinilaw, any fish and chicken dish that he always have cooked for Mom, Kuya and me.

He was the best cook and Mom only came next to him then me!

My food will never be the same without Daddy cooking for me.

To my Dad.

I was half awake when my mom told me about the dream she just had, "Yang, nakakatakot yung dream ko..." I listened to her then I remembered the dream I had weeks ago which scared me to death. I tried to interpret my dream when I woke up. I have this weird "gift" that what my dreams were are somewhat like visions of what would happen to my family. I always get to interpret dreams and I sort of get it just right.

So, when my mom shared her dream, it was just like what I had dreamt of. So, I answered her, "Mom, don't worry. It's nothing bad. It just means you're trying to get the bad things away from me. Not unless if you were not able to shoo those insects away from me."

My mom was a bit relieved, "Oh ok, so wala lang yun?"

I said, "Yes,mom... tulog muna ako ulit."

I fell asleep then I heard my mom talking so loud. She sounded shocked and worried, "Ha? Bag-o ra gani mi nagkastorya pag Sabado, day."

I thought to myself, "Naa siguro nahitabo sa Leyte. Maybe naaay namatay nga one of our relatives." Then I checked my phone and I got a few messages, one was from Darryl. So I replied to his message when my mom came inside my room, shocked, "Yang, si Daddy! Patay na daw!"

The worst news I ever got in all the mornings I have.

I was speechless and didn't know how to react. I turned my back away from Mommy and faced the wall. I cried silently which was more painful to bear. My mom made another call to my Aunt. I listened to their conversation and was still crying.

I didn't know what to think, do or say. Everything came so sudden.

My dad...of all, why him?

I had a class to catch so I stood up and took a bath, crying. Then I saw my mom crying as she was packing her things for Leyte. I tried not to look at her. It pains me more to see her cry that way. We talked for a while about our plan. We have no time to waste. My mom and Kuya had to leave today and I will be going home on Friday after my classes.

Then on my way to school, everything was so clear that the sun was blinding my eyes. All my memories with Dad made me cry so hard. I missed him so much.

Daddy was my "kakampi" all the way. He gave me money secretly whenever Mom got mad at me and cut my allowance off. He covered me up when my mom learned that a guy visited me in our house in Leyte. He favored me more than my Kuya because I was smart and independent. We played Chess. We love eating Asparagus. He would always surprise me with Kinilaw whenever I go home to Leyte. He would call my Kuya's attention if he tried to eat my share. I made him happy everytime he went up the stage because I was an honor student. I always got the best things from my daddy.

I am in no mood to write any flowery blog tonight about my dad. But I hope somehow, I made my dad's memory a part of me to you. When things are clear to me, I will make a better blog of him which he deserves.

I have never thought that the "special occassion" I have been waiting for to have the reason to go home to Leyte would be this way.

To my dad, Atty.Jesus O. Lago, you are my dad that I will never exchange for anything and anyone else. I love you and you will always be the reason why I do better everyday though it pains me to know that you will no longer be with me when I fulfill our dreams. You will always be the reason why I live a good life. Without you, I am a nobody.

Unsure.

Both of us were unsure that we just didn't think of it. We went on with what we have -- Now. Everything happened so spontaneous that even my friends didn't mind it. They were just happy for me and I thank them for that.

He tried to talk with me about how he feels for me and all that we share but whenever he started talking, I always tried to change the topic to something else. I didn't want to spoil the fun we were having coz I knew he would be leaving soon. He understood.

When we were finally alone on the night before his scheduled flight to Hong Kong, I wanted to cry. Thankfully, I didn't.

I stayed quiet for quite a while that the silence was really deafening.

He tried to hold my hand and said, "I am afraid coz I don't know how you feel for me."

At first, I wanted to laugh. It reminded me of what Armando Solis (I Love Betty la Fea) once told Betty Suarez, "napatunayan ko na sa yo ang feelings ko. Ngayon, ikaw naman. Are we?"

But I knew he was serious so I kept still.

He looked at me straight to the eyes. We looked at each other. He kissed me then but I turned back and moved a bit away from him. I just couldn't stop thinking of him leaving the next day countries away from me!

I closed my eyes when I finally let him hold my hand. I hugged him right away and we said nothing for a while.

I was sleepy so he looked at me till he doze off.

When I woke up he said, "You snore so cute.You sounded like a little girl."